download kindle Summon the KeeperAuthor Tanya Huff –

For October s WOGF review, I decided to get my random read out of the way Nerd that I am, I actually went to the trouble of writing a shell script to select an author randomly, and wound up with Tanya Huff I was thinking of picking up one of her military science fiction works, but Summon the Keeper seemed like a good pick for Halloween It, uh, wasn t.The protagonist is hoodwinked into taking care of a BB with a portal to hell in the basement which, as a vaguely magical Keeper, it is her job to close, or monitor or something She does, to her credit, take some steps towards doing this, but they are mostly off screen, and take up a very small fraction of the book.For the rest of the book, stuff happens The protagonist has an incredibly painful Betty and Veronica thing going on Veronica is played by a ghost who is mean to be Quebecois, but acts like a broad caricature of a Frenchman and who evidently died before the invention of the concept of sexual harassment was invented Betty is a really stupid Newfoundlander who resents stereotypes about stupid Newfoundlanders and has basically dedicated his life too cooking, cleaning, and apparently, although this is not stated in the text working eight hours per day Also, in this universe, Newfoundland is indistinguishable from a Dickens novel.Since there is really no way to fill 300 pages with that, other stuff happens A vampire shows up, feints at seducing the Newfie, and then leaves without having any effect on the plot The elevator turns into an inter dimensional portal for no adequately explained reason In a wicked dumb segment the Greek pantheon shows up and does things that aren t funny There are some werewolves or something.Yes, friends, a great deal of stuff happens in this novel, but stuff happening is not the same thing as a plot. If the stuff that happened was particularly interesting or funny then I might be willing to overlook the absurdly thin plot, but it really, really wasn t The jokes were flat The protagonist communicates entirely by snarking, which I suppose is meant to make her funny but actually just makes her a jerk The love triangle was horribly unconvincing The talking cat yes, she has a talking cat was indistinguishable from Garfield.I was excited to read this book I wanted to like it It seemed like it took some cues from Zelazny s A Night in the Lonesome October, which was funny and clever and original This book is none of those things This is a bad book Don t read this book.To be cross posted on Worlds Without End. Light, with gentle, sarcastic humour, this was a fun little urban fantasy Nothing too dire, no one really horrible except for the nosy next door neighbour , and a slow relationship building between Keeper, Claire Hansen, and Dean, the general handyman cook cleaner of the run down bed and breakfast And the star of the book, Austin, the talking cat, who s focused on the important things his stomach, being disgusted with his human Claire, and sharing his unerring insight on the goings on around him. Claire Hansen, The Keeper, Is Summoned To The Elysian Fields Guest House To Reseal A Hole In The Basement, Which Is Literally An Opening To Hell The Owner And Monitor Of The Site Disappears, Leaving Claire Stuck Managing The Place Until The Problem Is Solved Her New Employee, Dean McIssac, Is A Gorgeous Newfie Who Cooks, Cleans, And Lives The Boy Scout Oath Then There S Jacques Labaet Very French Canadian, Very Sexy, Very Dead Jacques Is A Ghost Who Wants To Be The Man In Claire S Life Oh Yeah, And There S Austin, A Talking Cat With Attitude I Barely Know You, But I M Assuming You Re Human I M Not Saying This Is A Good Thing, It S Just The Way It Is This is one of my favorite series by Tanya Huff I laugh all the way through every time Hell talking to itself, multi colored mice, talking cat, Retired Olympians not atheletes and much This is a fantasy with two romantic love interests, a hunky handyman and an impossible to resist lusty ghost, that came highly recommended to me and I wasn t at all disappointed Claire is what they call a keeper , a person with supernatural powers who keeps order in the universe and the evilness of hell under wraps Her latest assignment has her ticked off She s been summoned to a bed and breakfast where hell resides in the basement and she fears she may be stuck there for the rest of her life She spends the book attempting to figure out how to complete her assignment while fighting off the advances of the sexy ghost, fighting off her lusty thoughts of the younger handyman, arguing with her know it all cat who talks and dealing with the strange assortment of guests who visit the BB.This book was pure fun, had lots of sensual tension, some great one liners many made by Hell who argues with itself , and all of the characters were likable Despite the setting there was nothing gory about it If you like fantasy comedies or are looking for a change of pace give this one a try. I laughed until I cried, then I used quotes for my sig, then I went out and bought everything else I found by Tanya Huff, then I chuckled to myself recalling various bits for the next several months. Title in German Die Chroniken der H ter Hotel ElysiumA Keeper is a person whose task is to repair holes in the fabric of the universe caused by bad deeds or magic and where evil is able to find its way into our world Claire Hansen is such a Keeper who was summoned along with her talking cat Austin to Kingston to take care of a hotel where hell resides in the basement and a bad Keeper is put to sleep by other Keepers and not to be aroused in any circumstances.Arriving there she meets her employee Dean McIssac a handsome young man who would bring honor to every boy scout group he cooks, cleans and keeps things tidy and discovers a lascivious ghost in the attic named Jacques Labaet Not enough her hotel guests aren t your average visitors they re vampires, werwolves and retired ex olympic gods I liked this lot and there s a nosy neighbour with a crazy dog watching her all the time.I liked the weird sense of humor in this book The talking cat is hilarious and the pouting hell seems to have a split personality and is constantly talking to itself and its tries via bathroom mirror to lead Claire into temptation are amusing But what surprised me a little bit was the force of attraction Claire felt for the ghost his cherie s to and his cherie s fro and obvious tries of seduction were slowly but surely getting on my nerves but maybe that s just me and my dislike of men who see themselves as great seducers rolls eyes This book was fun to read and I will definitely read the next volumes I m just to curious what will happen between Dean and Claire A friend found this because I couldn t remember it It s one of the worst things I ve ever read I happened to be on a vacation without wifi, so I had to read it or re read a magazine I brought It waswork.Lots of campy jokes, waaay too many puns, even for me like the bad kind Not the fun word play, the look how funny I am kinds A really bad stereotype of Frenchman who s a ghost that becomes corporeal enough for a little sexy time which isweird Anyways, glad I remembered the name of it so that I never accidentally read it again Read this to my 13 year old son He gave it six stars out of five. Bubble gum for the brain, with some GREAT snarky one liners and some scathing pop culture references thrown in sorta like when you bite through the sucker and hit the gum, these little gems keep popping up.One of the characters is from Newfoundland, though, and the author has his linguistics wrong Lots of people have trouble with he s after getting tall which is something Irish people or Newfoundlanders would say quite normally It means he has become tall The Newf character in the story said that I m after calling him meant he was was GOING to call Wrong, wrong, wrong Being after doing something means it s done.Okay, got that out of my system I lived in Newfoundland for three years as a doctoral student and we got beat up if we 1 called anybody a N ie 2 ventured out of doors during any hockey season in which an American and Canadian team were facing off or 3 misused the after plus perfect So I try to save others.Back to the book the cat is great, caustic and wise as a cat should be The Newfoundland sweet innocent is hysterical, all these creatures you only read about in mythical encyclopedias as in enc of myths keep appearing, and there s a sexually frustrated sailor ghost with big brown eyes who steals the whole show Great fun to read, laugh out loud humor.