[[ Free Audible ]] Hounded (The Iron Druid Chronicles, #1) Author Kevin Hearne – Gsagency.co

i was surpirsed at how much i loved it.the myths are correct and from all over the world.and i loved the dog.re read still love that dog re re read i could read this every month if i had too. sigh This was quite the frustrating book to read For the first third or so of the book I wasn t certain how I felt about it, but this was largely due to my hesitancy to jump to conclusions Well the potential middle of the road rating quickly deteriorated to a well deserved one star Needless to say I will not be continuing in the series unless I am at a level of boredom I have not yet experienced.Let s start with Atticus Atticus is supposed to be a Druid who is 2,100 years old However, he acts like an idiotic teenager who thinks he knows it all Atticus is far too immature to be believed as anyone who is than a few decades old rather than 21 centuries old Shouldn t one who has lived this long be a little rough around the edges, a bit wise He makes ridiculous comments jokes some might say if they were actually funny , is obnoxious to gods despite their ability kill him oh please get rid of him Morrigan , says whoa and gadzooks oh yes, very mature and cannot contain his horniness despite literally being ancient Atticus inner dialogue is also quite clearly modern day American and nothing like what you would expect someone who has lived so long to be Shouldn t he be an amalgamation of the history he has lived One of the worst scenes in the book by far When Atticus gives a paramedic a WEDGIE while he is trying to help him with a gunshot wound WHAT THE F%K is that A freakin wedgie Oh yes, I think 2,100 years is enough for Atticus He also sleeps with this or that goddess because apparently he is irresistible Yes, the red curly hair and long goatee is just freakin unbearably irresistible not When all is said and done, Atticus is quite frankly who Kevin Hearne dreams he could be Male fantasy fulfillment is splashed across every page of this book.This book is a classic example of telling not showing Clearly the author was also trying too hard and it came through the writing He tried hard to be funny but it just simply failed most of the time The dialogue was stilted and the dull info dumps were nearly unbearable The gods in the book were unimpressive as they were never fleshed out I was largely attracted to the book due to the Celtic mythology aspect but Hearne failed in this department as well.And then there is Oberon Oberon does not strike me as a dog at all, just some jackass idea of what a dog would sound like if you could communicate with him her I absolutely hated the storyline with Oberon wanting French poodles and then Atticus buying poodles for Oberon to have his way with Oh great, dog rape, what a grand way to end the male fantasy book P.S Atticus gives Oberon a DOG both coffee and tea in this book, both of which are TOXIC to dogs Caffeinated drinks such as coffee and tea have a similar impact on a dog s system that chocolate does which hopefully people know is toxic as well I hate to think of the number of idiots who gave their dog coffee or tea after reading this book, or at least thought it was ok So not only a poor book but it sets a terrible example as well and that isn t even counting the wedgies.ugh. If Joss Whedon and Jim Butcher had a love child that would one day grow up and write a novel this would be the novel he wrote.PLUSEQUALS image error The Learning Annex presents a three session workshop HOW TO WRITE URBAN FANTASY IN 3 EASY STEPS Session 1 Uncover Your Inner Shallow Self And Flaunt ItWhy waste time putting energy towards creating depth Readers are not looking for intangibles, they are looking for escape Depth often makes them feel out of their depth so why not create some positive impact Research your mythology of choice, then surround that central mythology with as many other mythologies and fantasy figures as you possibly can This tried and true formula has guaranteed success Satisfy everyone Celtic mythology can only be improved by adding such cultural icons as the Vampire, the Werewolf, Coyote, and Thor The lucrative and open ended series of your dreams is only hours away You can make it happen As the song goesDrown me in the shallow waters before I get too deepSession 2 Forget Resonance And Create FUNDedicated, career minded professional and beginning screenwriters, directors, producers, novelists, creative studio executives, video game creators and everyone else should understand that their livelihood depends on knowing what makes a story great and successful The answer is non resonant FUN As we move through a step by step journey from the inspiration to the final draft, we will take an in depth look at all the essential concepts story structures and principles, metaphor the secret language of great stories , the creative unconscious the source of our creativity and the Golden Paradigm the story model that contains the hidden story structures all great stories have in common and then quickly throw it all in the trash where it belongs You are not writing Ulysses, you re writing a high concept idea that can last years The key is FUN Session 3 The Ancient Path to EnlightenmentThis is a class that reveals techniques that have been taught from time immemorial to connect one to the primal life energy that enlivens the earth, plants, animals, man, and the universe And Urban Fantasy series The universe is alive and conscious The planets themselves are but the shadow of the great beings, which influence our lives and organize time through their orbits around the sun This session functions as an introduction to the Ancient Path of Enlightenment, the path that utilizes mantra to invoke the ancient archetypes that exist in the collective unconscious from time immemorial It is an experiential path In this class you will experience the importance of creating your spirit animal a cute and lovable talking dog named Oberon This dog will be your guide on your path to making money Your path leads back to you You are the path You are a money magnet You will attract money easily and effortlessly Money will come to you every day in every way The Universe takes care of your every need Abundance flows to you every day Abundance flows to you in every way You are open to receiving money now view spoiler i actually rather liked this one it was often frustratingly stupid and shallow and without resonance and that fucking dog was about as precious cutesy poo as can be imagined this is a 2 star read but it was still a lot of fun and the celtic stuff was occasionally interesting i will probably forget the whole experience within a few weeks eh, at least it was semi enjoyable while it lasted.if you are looking for resonant Urban Fantasy, read American Gods hide spoiler Re read 2017 Because Druids are hot I ve been meaning to reread this series and catch up on missing books for a while now, but it took my oldest son getting into Urban Fantasy to kick my ass into gear I gave it to him, he loved it, and then promptly wanted to talk about what had happened in the story Aw, fuck.Yeah, I d forgotten everything, so I had to refresh my memory Luckily, this was one of those first books in a series that wasn t bogged down by too much set up for the next installment or info dump world building In fact, I was kinda shocked at how well it was paced Bonus Thanks to my faulty memory chip, this was like reading a brand new story.Anyway, I think my original review still sums up how I feel about this one.Original review 2012It started off a little slow and clunky my opinion , but after a few chapters things started clicking together Really well.Atticus is a 2000 plus year old Druid who makes his home in Arizona Other than running an occult shop and occasionally selling fake weed to stoners , he has generally tried to lay low to avoid a powerful enemy who has been after him for over a millennium Because he stole the guy s sword A bad ass sword Evidently, the Celtic god of love isn t very lovable In fact, he s pretty pissed.And that s where the story startsAtticus reminds me a lot of a hot Harry Dresden I m not saying Hearne ripped off Butcher, though Hearne s writing style isn t as chaotic as Jim Butcher s, for one thing The similarity is that both characters are the kind of humorous underdogs that everyone loves to root for.Hounded is a great 1st book in what looks to be a very good urban fantasy series I have the next one waiting for me right now, and you can bet your ass I ll be reading it as soon as I can save this reviewP.S On a side note, I loved that Thor was described as a huge douche in this book Made me giggle. Ten Things I liked loved about Hounded and the Whys 1 Sexy, redheaded Irish hero Why, because I have a thing for red headed guys, and I am a proud person of Irish ancestry, so I think Irish people are cool 2 Hero is a druid who can also kick butt like nobody s business Why, because I love characters who can kick butt, and druids are so mysterious and underutilized in contemporary fantasy.3 The hero communicates with his dog Why, because I am crazy about animals, I love the human animal bond, and I thought Oberon was freaking hilarious with his obsessions with sniffing butts, sausage, and French Poodles.4 Celtic Mythology Why, well that goes back to my love of the Irish and the Celts and mythology in general Um, I do have to say that I prefer my Christian deity, because I don t trust those Celtic gods as far as I can throw them no offense to those who believe in Celtic pantheism.5 The Arizona setting Why I hate hot weather, but the desert has a raw beauty that appeals Hearne does it very well here, and not too many books that I ve read were set in Arizona.6 The variety of magical elements and beasties here Why, because I am a fantasy nerd Enough said 7 Swords and swordfighting If you don t know, I can t tell you why this is cool.8 Werewolves Why I love werewolves I just do And these are Scandinavian werewolves, even cooler 9 Wicked witches Why, because I like to read books with wicked witches 10.This book was laugh out loud funny Why I love to laugh.Bonus Dang, Atticus has some good lawyers If you haven t read this book and you enjoy all most at least 60% of what I listed, you should read this book.In all seriousness, I really enjoyed this book I had a ball reading it Highly recommended.Rating 4.5 5.0 stars Atticus O Sullivan, the protagonist of Kevin Hearne s Iron Druid series, Thor, Stevie Nicks and Lyn sit in the left field seats watching an Arizona Diamondbacks game and discussing Hounded.Thor So why did you call me an ass hat Atticus I call em like I see em big guy But don t take it too hard, I ll buy you another beer as my way of making amends hails a beer vendor Thor I m repeatedly described as difficult, and that s a euphemism, and I m not supposed to take it so hard Stevie I think what Atticus is getting at is that you re much complex than Marvel has portrayed you in the last few years.Thor I think that s another euphemism.Lyn Hearne never really described you, always as an off stage aside, I think it was kind of a running joke.Thor So now I m a running joke, this is not getting better.Stevie Well, just like Neil Gaiman did in American Gods, one of the points Hearne made was that all of the gods are real, he invested in an extremely broad and diverse universe.Atticus But kept it with an Irish setting even in Arizona crowd applauds Atticus Gods below Johnson is nasty tonight.Stevie I don t think a speed spell druid could have hit that.Atticus I don t think so.Thor Well, at any rate, a cool urban fantasy with several pantheons described, ghouls, demons, dryads, and werewolves is a fun story.Stevie Don t forget witches.Lyn And don t forget a bloodsucking vampire as an attorney.Atticus Ha I thought you d like that.Lyn Yeah, I loved the part about your lawyers being werewolves and vampires, imagine the fee Atticus I described the fee, a wine glass of my vintage 21 century old blood.Stevie I also liked the magical Celtic sword Fraggle Rock all laugh Thor How many beers have you had Stevie I can t pronounce all those Gaelic consonants together, sounds like Fraggle Rock.Atticus Well, I think any reader who liked American Gods or Christopher Moore s A Dirty Job would like our little tale.Lyn True, and Hearne has created a gem You have 21 centuries of cool exploits to draw from as you demonstrated in the short story The Chapel Perilous I see the beginning of a beautiful friendship crowd erupts as Randy Johnson blazes a 100 mile per hour heater high in the strike zone, making the Dodgers hitter look silly as he swung wildly and fail to catch up, striking out footnote I am aware that Randy Johnson retired in 2009, this is my fantasy so I m having fun, BTW congrats to The Big Unit on his 2015 induction in the HOF A few moons ago, I use to read PNR UF books like I breathe air, and ate them like potato chips Then the treads started up with many authors pretty much doing the same thing over and over again Walking back to the genres has been so far very good with the help of many of my GR friend s reviews I ve had a lot of luck with PNR and Romantic UFs, but haven t had the true courage to try my hand at a UF until Hounded Hounded is a book that made me remember why I loved and miss the genre so much There was never a true dull moment in this book, and it was hard for me to walk away without wanting to read just a few pages And that alone is a mark that I m soo going to enjoy this book Atticus O Sullivan is the last Druid and for the past two thousand years has been hunted by a fae god out to get a powerful sword that Atticus has kept hidden After so much running Atticus is tried of the BS and has finally decided to make a stand, that will involved all his knowledge and magical abilities, his friends, his vampire and werewolf lawyers and a few helpful and not so helpful visits from some gods My impression of what Atticus would be liked was thrown out the window soon after reading the first few pages Being around before even Jesus walked the Earth I thought he be this stale Druid, whom be all bad moody magical power wielding dude Oh, he one bad magical power wielding dude, but without the flash and sparkle you see now of days with other books and characters Atticus earth magic makes him well earthy and that alone gives you a clue of what Atticus is about A somewhat laid back type of guy, whom has a great sense of humor, but observant with years and years and years of knowledge and has seen things we can only read in the history books Atticus has a great respect for everyone if you respect him in return, and a pretty normal guy when it comes to attraction when it comes to the ladies By all accounts Atticus would be like any of one of us when walking down the street, and that gave him his great charm and made me fall hard for him He wasn t flashy, he didn t just run into danger, and he took care of his close friend and hound Oberon He won all points for me on the I want to marry you scale There were also moments of deep feelings and emotions when Atticus remembers his past, but Atticus is of a present man, and truly cherished those around him in the now as he did to those he s lost From the get go you know the author did his homework, but instead of giving you an overdose helping of history, the author worked it very nicely into the story, making it easy to follow whose who While the beginning was a tad slow for me, with a lot of tell and no show, it wasn t without it s moments of great humor and getting to know about the world The world was very open with a lot of gods and goddess running around, walking among humans Along with werewolves, vampires The author never lets you get confused, but gives you tidbits to help you along There s pure humor with a vampire and a werewolf being lawyers and being paid 350 an hour And not to forgot our human characters of a very normal old widow who loves her whiskey and sneaks a little into church to mellow out D Hounded won another brownie point with me with the lack of smut What Rane have you lost your mind, no smut Yup, that s right No smut Not that I don t love me some smut But UF authors tend to just use them as a filler, the only part was of a booty call off screen, which I was very happy and content with As with any book I like to read about the hero and his heroine or the woman he ll end up with then just some random chick Plus, again I didn t really think he even liked the goddess and that alone was a turn off for me So it being off screen was fine and was a show that Atticus had a healthy and active sex life period No information need and that was alright by me It gave the reader time to fours on the ongoing story The magical aspect of the story truly fascinated me, with much of it center around the Irish gods and goddess It wasn t all history much of the humor and trying to blend in, Atticus was very much up to date even so then some others even him being way older Atticus did have some completion in the favorite character scale, the runner was his beloved Irish wolfhound Oberon While he could commutate with Atticus, he was still very much a dog, with a deep love of anything meat and French poodles He was very smart and understood much of what was going around him Oberon was the sort of anchor that Atticus needed to stop and smell the roses once in awhile, and that s was a true friend is all about The battles scenes had me reading quickly, I loved the use of Atticus magic abilities and wondering what was in store next for Atticus And were there some great surprises that like Atticus I never saw coming Throughout the review I mention the humor, and this book had some golden moments of humor that had me rolling in the chair Drives in the back of an ambulance are simultaneously boring and stressful I needed a relief from both Paramedic Man wasn t about to talk to me any, so I decided to mess with him a bit Am I above immature trickery No It keeps me young Using a bit of power recently banked in my bear charm, I bound a few of the natural threads in the elastic band of his underwear to the fine hairs in the center of his back about five inches up The result was an instant wedgie Those have been funny for two thousand years, but they re even hilarious when your victim is sanctimoniously trying to behave like he knows then you I shouldn t have done it, though, because his reaction a girlish squeal followed by a high octave Ahhh What the fuck and an abrupt attempt to stand up, cracks his head on the ceiling Two great goodies of short stories with everyday happenings with Atticus and Oberon topped off my enjoyment of this book and had me marking down on my calendar the next book in the series Hounded brought back the joy I felt when reading a great UF keeper of a book, and with it a new rising star of an author to be on the look out for. I loved this book I wasn t sure at first because lately when reading my urban fantasy books, they are taking me longer to get into and that s sad because I used to read them all of the time At any rate, this one took off for me after a little bit and I freaking fell in love I mean this book has so much stuff in it All kinds of gods, references to gods, God, the devil We have Vampire and Werewolf attorneys, goblins, ogres gah there is just so much Anyhoo, so Atticus is a 2100 year old Druid, the last Druid I might add, unless of course the author brings another one into the story later Atticus poses as 21 and owns a store that has crystals and herbs and what not AND, he has a talking relationship with his Irish Wolfhound, Oberon OMG He s my new book boyfriend, er, druid This book is both funny, narly and plenty of awesomeness Sooooooooooooooooooooooo, this evil god dude was he a god Now I can t remember, either way he was a jerk evil demon dude and he blames Atticus for stealing his sword The sword is named Fragarach the Answerer and it s bad to the bone, it will kill you deader than dead in a second There is a whole history there but you can read it yourself Atticus is living in Arizona and has been off the radar from said jerko for years, but apparently gods or demons, minions, whatever can surf the net and find people Yeah, I know right And Atticus was stupid enough to put his real info ish out there Now he is being hunted A few things the old jerko send after Atticus to try to get the sword and kill Atticus before he gets there end up having a bad day or night And it s amazeballs OMG Oh and there is the Morrigan who is the death goddess She s on Atticus side so to speak and stuff And Atticus has a werewolf Hal and a vampire Leif as his attorney s I mean this is just too cool for me to handle people There are just so many cool things that you just have to read the book The earth energy that Atticus uses, just all kinds of stuff Oh and the old widow lady down the street, Mrs MacDonagh who drinks like crazy, loves Atticus and is okay with him killing stuff and having werewolf friends Lol She s a hoot I m going to leave this review with some excerpts Some are of Oberon the dog who has an obsession with Geghis Khan and French Poodles EXCERPTS The bars along the wall of my shop had melted silently apart behind them and morphed into jaws of sharp iron teeth The giant black maw reached out for them and snapped closed, scissoring through the fairies flesh as if it were cottage cheese, and then they were inhaled like Jell O, with time only for a startled, aborted scream Their weapons clattered to the ground, all glamour gone, and then the iron mouth melted back into its wonted shape as a series of bars, after gracing me with a brief, satisfied grin I got a message from the iron elemental before it faded away, in the short bursts of emotions and imagery that they use for language Druid calls Fairies await Delicious Gratitude There was no time to negotiate He nodded once and said, They don t look very tough They re giants using glamour, so don t trust your eyes Use your other senses What does their blood smell like They were almost upon us, but it was a worthwhile question Leif s eyes widened when he caught the scent of their blood They are strong, he said Thanks, Atticus He grinned, his fangs lengthening as he smiled I have not had my breakfast yet Look at it like an all you can eat buffet I said, and then there was no time for talking Not one to be shy, Leif launched himself in a superhuman leap against the leading Fir Bolg, far above where his head was according to mortal eyes That s because the giant s neck was actually about three feet higher, and the Fir Bolgs slowed down when they saw their leader taken down by a guy in an English business suit But slowing down wasn t the same as stopping Agreed, the vampire said I am full right now anyway I need to work some of this off He dug a cell phone out of his or, I should say, my breast pocket and used a speed dial number to call someone named Antoine I have dinner for the whole crew at Mitchell Park in Tempe right now Bring the truck Yes, there is enough for everybody, trust me See you there Whoa He had ghouls on speed dial My lawyer kicks so much ass I rose from my chair and Oberon began to trot in front of me down the hall to the bathroom, his tail wagging again Will you tell me about Genghis Khan s whores while I m in the bath Hordes, not whores He had both, though now that you mention it Sounds like he was a busy guy You have no idea Did you get me that movie about Genghis Khan It s in the Netflix queue, but that s not the surprise You don t need to worry, it ll be something good I just don t want you to feel depressed about going home Oh, I won t But it would be cool to have a stream like this in the backyard Can you make one Umm no I figured Can t blame a hound for trying Oberon was indeed surprised when we got back home to Tempe Hal had made the arrangments for me, and Oberon perked up as soon as we were dropped off by the shuttle from the car rental company Hey, smells like someone s in my territory, he said Nobody could be here without my permission, you know that Flidais did it That isn t Fidais you smell, believe me I opened the front door, and Oberon immediately ran to the kitchen window that gazed upon the backyard He barked joyously when he saw what was waiting for him there French poodles All black and curly with poofy little tails And every one of them in heat Oh, WOW Thanks, Atticus I can t wait to sniff their asses He bounded over to the door and pawed at it because the doggie door was closed to prevent poodles from entering You earned it buddy Hold on, get down off the door so I can open it for you, and be careful, don t hurt any of them I opened the door, expecting him to bolt through it and dive into his own personal canine harem, but instead he took one step and stopped, looking up at me with a mournful expression, his ears drooping and a tiny whine escaping his snout Only five Fin MY BLOG Melissa Martin s Reading List Atticus O Sullivan, Last Of The Druids, Lives Peacefully In Arizona, Running An Occult Bookshop And Shape Shifting In His Spare Time To Hunt With His Irish Wolfhound His Neighbors And Customers Think That This Handsome, Tattooed Irish Dude Is About Twenty One Years Old When In Actuality, He S Twenty One Centuries Old Not To Mention He Draws His Power From The Earth, Possesses A Sharp Wit, And Wields An Even Sharper Magical Sword Known As Fragarach, The AnswererUnfortunately, A Very Angry Celtic God Wants That Sword, And He S Hounded Atticus For Centuries Now The Determined Deity Has Tracked Him Down, And Atticus Will Need All His Power Plus The Help Of A Seductive Goddess Of Death, His Vampire And Werewolf Team Of Attorneys, A Bartender Possessed By A Hindu Witch, And Some Good Old Fashioned Luck Of The Irish To Kick Some Celtic Arse And Deliver Himself From Evil